Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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