And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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