my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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