Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I need to calm my uterus...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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