i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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