Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
