At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
