I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
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why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
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There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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