Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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