dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
