new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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