Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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