Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
