his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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