Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
