But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
