that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
