Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
