Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
