I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Actions speak louder than pants.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
