I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
