It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
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You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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