Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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