we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
