i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
