My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
