I am full of burrito and curiosity
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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