i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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