Do you still have your period?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
