I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
