still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
