You're so nebulous sometimes
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
