Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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