You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Never underestimate the power of titties
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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