its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
