I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
