This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
