I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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