You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
