This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
