Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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