you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
