New invention idea: vibrating tampons
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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