I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
