on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
