Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
