Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I didn't notice because vodka
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
