Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
