So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
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Be still, my beating vagina.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
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So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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