If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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