fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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