im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
