I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
