i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
