I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
