I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
