Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
