i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
where does the pee come out of this thing
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
