3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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