Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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